Don't Ask Carly About the Rehearsal Dinner
When we have the time, we love to pick up a bridal magazine and read it. It keeps us up to date on trends, let's us see what others are doing with their wedding design, and also keeps us fresh on current dilemmas brides and grooms are facing.
One magazine we often read is the Knot. The Knot's editor in chief, Carly Roney, has her own column featured every issue called "Ask Carly". It is basically a "Dear Abby" column that brides can write in to and ask their most daunting of questions.
A recent question in this column has us up in arms.
"My future mother-in-law keeps calling the rehearsal dinner the 'groom's dinner'. She wants to send out invites saying, 'Please come to dinner in honor of my son on the eve of his wedding.' I think it's rude that she isn't including me. Am I right?"
Carly's answer was understandable - but we personally think incorrect. She stated that the typical dinner before the night of the wedding is called a rehearsal dinner. But if your mother-in-law is the one paying, she can call it anything she wants.
No way. As someone that really struggled with an extremely rude mother-in-law while planning her wedding, I really have a problem with that answer. I do understand if she is paying, she has say in what goes on. But we all know if you are doing a rehearsal before you eat, it is a rehearsal dinner.
I think this is the perfect time for your fiance' to step up and let the mother-in-law know that this is a celebration for the two of you. There should be no excluding the bride unless it was at a private event for the groom that the bride will not be attending. Let her know if she absolutely wants to have a dinner in his honor another time, she can do so. But the rehearsal dinner is NOT the time to do it.
I know this may cause stress between family members, but that is the chance you must take to start to have a solid family relationship. Otherwise you will always struggle and be unhappy with putting up with her rude comments and actions. Just trust it will get better over time. Believe me, I know.
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One magazine we often read is the Knot. The Knot's editor in chief, Carly Roney, has her own column featured every issue called "Ask Carly". It is basically a "Dear Abby" column that brides can write in to and ask their most daunting of questions.
A recent question in this column has us up in arms.
"My future mother-in-law keeps calling the rehearsal dinner the 'groom's dinner'. She wants to send out invites saying, 'Please come to dinner in honor of my son on the eve of his wedding.' I think it's rude that she isn't including me. Am I right?"
Carly's answer was understandable - but we personally think incorrect. She stated that the typical dinner before the night of the wedding is called a rehearsal dinner. But if your mother-in-law is the one paying, she can call it anything she wants.
No way. As someone that really struggled with an extremely rude mother-in-law while planning her wedding, I really have a problem with that answer. I do understand if she is paying, she has say in what goes on. But we all know if you are doing a rehearsal before you eat, it is a rehearsal dinner.
I think this is the perfect time for your fiance' to step up and let the mother-in-law know that this is a celebration for the two of you. There should be no excluding the bride unless it was at a private event for the groom that the bride will not be attending. Let her know if she absolutely wants to have a dinner in his honor another time, she can do so. But the rehearsal dinner is NOT the time to do it.
I know this may cause stress between family members, but that is the chance you must take to start to have a solid family relationship. Otherwise you will always struggle and be unhappy with putting up with her rude comments and actions. Just trust it will get better over time. Believe me, I know.
Labels: General Advice, WED-iquette
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posted by Be In Love Designs at
1:57 PM
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