The Wedding Gift Etiquette

Most people would turn a blind eye on wedding gift etiquette although we have the need to consider this issue.

Above anything, it’s wrong to ask for gift. You don’t send a card to your guest telling them “hey, we need a brand new car!” It is even wrong to mention about a gift registry. Again, it is very incorrect in a wedding etiquette for a couple to ask for a particular kind of gift or to even give a hint about the gift they want to get.

For the guests, we all know the famous rule that we have the whole year to send our wedding gift to the couple. However, gifts must be given not later than 3 months after the big event and to allow the couple to even wait for this long is considered rude. People should send their gift as soon as the invitations are sent out or they should at least bring one during the big day. If you would like to send the gift before the event, this way, you are freed from worrying about carrying something bulky during the wedding.

Another thing to consider is how much you are going to spend for a gift. There is a funny rumor going around that the cost of the gift must equal the cost of the meal prepared on the reception. This is hilariously wrong. A person can give anything she wants to, regardless of the price of the dinner.

Is it fine to give money? Of course it is, in case it is your preference. What’s wrong is to ask for a gift of money. A couple asking for this is committing something against the proper wedding gift etiquette.

And although none would like to think about a cancelled wedding, this saddening event would sometimes happen. In view of this, wedding gifts must not be used before the wedding and in case the wedding is cancelled, all gifts should be returned to the givers.

Now that you are aware of some wedding etiquette, it’s sensible to practice them all next time you attend a wedding or if you’ll have your own wedding in the future.

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Kids on the Big Day

Children attending the wedding is a topic subjected to great debate. For some, wedding is a time when the whole family can be together while others think that children can be too immature for such occasion.

As a guest, try to respect the couple’s wish of not inviting your kids for their wedding. Understand that their decision has nothing to do to with offending your kids or the whole family. Instead of deciding that the whole family will not attend the wedding just because your bundle of joy was not invited, try to put yourself on the bride and groom’s perspective.

We can’t expect children to behave on such an occasion as solemn as a wedding. Babies will cry during the event and young children would ask unending questions. Just think about how the couple will feel if they are reciting their vow then a kid suddenly pulled the bride’s veil. For some, they can control their kids but how about those who can’t?

Also, parents won’t enjoy the wedding festivities if they have a kid on their arms. Consider that you will enjoy the wedding more if you just leave your kids to someone while you go attend the event on your own.

And if ever you think that the bride and the groom should make an exemption because your little Nancy is as prim as a sheep. The thing is, you are not merely the guest who feels this way because for sure, another mother is asking the bride and the groom to make an exemption for their kid as well. If the couple will allow a single kid to attend the event, the other parents who will attend will feel as if they had been degraded.

So the rule is, don’t push your invite way. If the couple wishes not to have kids on the wedding, accept it.

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Don't Ask Carly About the Rehearsal Dinner

When we have the time, we love to pick up a bridal magazine and read it. It keeps us up to date on trends, let's us see what others are doing with their wedding design, and also keeps us fresh on current dilemmas brides and grooms are facing.

One magazine we often read is the Knot. The Knot's editor in chief, Carly Roney, has her own column featured every issue called "Ask Carly". It is basically a "Dear Abby" column that brides can write in to and ask their most daunting of questions.
A recent question in this column has us up in arms.

"My future mother-in-law keeps calling the rehearsal dinner the 'groom's dinner'. She wants to send out invites saying, 'Please come to dinner in honor of my son on the eve of his wedding.' I think it's rude that she isn't including me. Am I right?"

Carly's answer was understandable - but we personally think incorrect. She stated that the typical dinner before the night of the wedding is called a rehearsal dinner. But if your mother-in-law is the one paying, she can call it anything she wants.

No way. As someone that really struggled with an extremely rude mother-in-law while planning her wedding, I really have a problem with that answer. I do understand if she is paying, she has say in what goes on. But we all know if you are doing a rehearsal before you eat, it is a rehearsal dinner.

I think this is the perfect time for your fiance' to step up and let the mother-in-law know that this is a celebration for the two of you. There should be no excluding the bride unless it was at a private event for the groom that the bride will not be attending. Let her know if she absolutely wants to have a dinner in his honor another time, she can do so. But the rehearsal dinner is NOT the time to do it.

I know this may cause stress between family members, but that is the chance you must take to start to have a solid family relationship. Otherwise you will always struggle and be unhappy with putting up with her rude comments and actions. Just trust it will get better over time. Believe me, I know.

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